Disgaea : Hour Of Akatsuki
by eifi
Summary: Orochimaru leaves cause he finds out that they actually found his porn stash, and Pein presses a mysterious but big red button. The result? A scared Itachi, and some DEFORMED mutations. Of course, they're in the netherworld! Pein vs Laharl. Who'll win?


**I got bored whilst playing Disgaea DS in japanese. (I have the ps2 version, but cbf to go downstairs to play it XD, and its blocked by my mums stuff, and plus its in english x_x)**

**Hope you enjoy this, I kind of got tired of writing it at the end so it might feel like it drags on, but meh xD**

**If you haven't played disgaea, read it! Or at least watch the mini set of anime episodes if you cant be bothered to play the funny game. xD**

**Disclaimer : I don't own naruto or disgaea, no matter how much I want to.**

**Note : Everyone is kind of OOC, and I'm not trying to make Itachi look like a pansy, I'm trying to spread the word to the world that Orochimaru is a sick pedophile XD roflmao xD**

**Enjoy! And review! =D (Likes to know what you guys think XD)**

* * *

Disgaea – Hour of Akatsuki

Chapter 1

The New World

* * *

Pein sighed. There wasn't anything to do.

After he led Akatsuki into war with the world and won, there wasn't anything entertaining to do apart from watching Itachi get drunk and trick him into pole dancing, who could dance really, REALLY well. It was either that or trying to find another village or town or country to conquer, but there were only a few left, and those consisted of towns where not even the animals and monsters wanted to go near.

Sighing again, for about the 10th time in the past few minutes it took for him to think of those 3 sentences, he got up off of his flower embroidered armchair that Konan bought for him, and walked towards the Garden.

He was about to step on a dandelion, when he had the shock of his life when Zetsu arose from the ground, the dandelion wilting sadly with a tiny stubble of soil at its roots on top of Zetsu's head.

"W-What the hell do you think you're doing Zetsu?" Pein asked, his eyes narrowing as he gather his chakra to his hands.

"Nothing. I didn't want you stepping on and killing my fia- the flower. That's all." Zetsu said plainly, before he noticed Pein looking at the top of his head. Rolling his eyes upwards, his eyes widened as he realised the flower was on there.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITTTTTTYYYY!" He cried, before disappearing adbruptly into the darkness, leaving the leader alone to think.

'There has GOT to be at least SOMETHING to do… Something more exciting and fun than sitting in an armchair all the time watching the paint dry on the wall.' He thought, his eyes scanning the garden. He spotted a bottle of weed killer, but dismissed the idea completely. 'Stop it Pein, he's a loyal member of our organization and has been for around 10 years now. Must not think of killing him… Even if it does sound fun… I wonder if he really would die… Hmm…' He thought, and just as he was about to reach for the bottle, Konan appeared behind him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!? THERES SOMETHING CALLED PRIVACY! MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T EVER HEARD OF IT BU-! Oh. Hi Konan. How you doing?" He covered up his outburst with a nervous smile and laugh, but Konan ignored it completely.

"Nagato, one of the slaves from a mining village we conquered discovered this mysterious relic." She said, handing Pein an artisan mirror.

"Hmm… It does seem to be mysterious…" He said, and flipped it over, and noticed a largely big red button. Immediately he winced, he had a huge urge to press this button. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good, and would surely bring a reign of terror over them. Which didn't actually seem so bad in his opinion, compared to what they were going through now, which was a reign of pure boredom. Konan noticed this, and snatched the mirror out of his hand, leaving a heartbroken and pouting Pein.

"No Nagato, don't you remember the last time you pressed a random big button? You are NOT allowed to press this." She said, tucking the mirror into her sleeve.

"B-B-But…" He tried to make an excuse quickly in his head, but no excuse popped up.

"No buts Nagato, you are NOT allowed to press this. We don't want another rerun of Orochimaru's gay disturbing porn movies again, ugh, that was disgusting."

As soon as she said that, Orochimaru appeared behind them with a tray of baked cookies in his hands, his eyes tearful and his lip in a full pout.

"You…You DID TOUCH MY STUFF! OH I SEE HOW IT IS! I'M ASHAMED OF YOU ALL!" He shouted, a lot like a woman actually, "I HATE YOU ALL! I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU GUYS AGAIN! GOOD LUCK HAVING A GAY MASS GANGBANG WITH THE WORLD CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE! I QUIT!" He cried, throwing the cookies onto the floor and stomping off.

And as soon as he said that and went, the rest of the Akatsuki entered the garden.

"Seriously? Seriously SERIOUSLY UN!? He's FINALLY GONE? YESSSS!" Deidara cheered, jumping up and high fiving Sasori.

"YES! FUCK YES! THANK YOU JASHIN-SAMA! THANK FUCK THAT THE PEDO IS GONE! AHAHHAHA, NO MORE HAVING TO BE SCARED TO SWITCH ON THE TV ANYMORE IN CASE HE DIDN'T EJECT A TAPE OUT! WOOO! Oi. Kakuzu, you asshole. Join in." Hidan screamed out. Kakuzu closed his eyes and ignored him, trying to think of happier places like Disneyland, his screaming voice almost deafening him.

"Finally, we won't have to be scared of him touching us in our sleep any more…" Itachi said with relief, nodding with himself, but stopping when he noticed that the cheering around him had stopped, and instead he was being stared at by sympathetic stares.

"…What?" He asked, extremely self conscious now that he was being stared at in sad ways by about 8 other high classed and dangerous murderers.

"Itachi… I don't how to say this…" Kisame started, "But I think you're the only one who he was trying to touch at night." He said sadly, patting his back whilst Deidara hugged him, consoling him as he whimpered like a sad puppy.

"Awwww… There there un… It's not your fault the gay had a crush on you… But don't worry now, he's gone now. Un." He consoled, trying his best to make him stop crying in fright.

"Oi. We're not seriously going to let this fucking great event pass us without getting totally wasted on expensive beer that we pilfered from other people right?" Hidan hinted.

"Yeah! Let's go binge drinking! Hehehehehe…" Pein agreed, but told them to go on without him, he needed to do something. Confused slightly by him wanting to stay back a bit, Konan offered to help him in whatever he needed to do, but he ushered her off as well, desperately wanting everyone to leave.

And when they did, he skittered onto the ground and picked up the cookies that Orochimaru had thrown, and sighed happily as he bit into one of them, 'No one can beat this chocolately goodness! MWAHAHHAHA!' He thought happily, totally unaware of the members who were watching him.

"No WONDER you wanted us to leave first! Un! You wanted the cookies for yourself! Hmph!" Deidara shouted, disappointed in their leader. The rest just agreed. But Pein had other plans than to let all his hard work trying to look cool and hard be flushed down the drain by a gay pedophile that he admitted, could cook a damn good cookie.

"Oh, this? I was just uh… Trying to make sure they weren't poisoned… If they were, poor Zetsu's plants would die, which means you guys would die from eating poison… And stuff…"

"Bullshit." Said Hidan, totally not believing the crappy lie that his good-for-nothing leader just made up.

Meanwhile, Pein was thinking carefully. 'Hmm… It seems they don't believe my obvious and blatant lying anymore. Time to switch to plan B… Plan B for Button."

He dove into Konan, grabbing her arm and smirking as he caught her off guard, pulling the antique mirror out of her sleeve and jumping away to a nearby tree.

Standing on top of the tree, he laughed maniacally, stopping as he realised something.

"Oh. My. God." He said, his face horrified and disgusted.

"…What now? Is it another pig being hunted down by a bear or something?" Sasori asked, it was rare that their leader no matter how much of a pansy he was actually showed he was horrified. Whatever he saw, it must have been pretty bad.

"Uh… You know how like… Orochimaru just left…" He started, shuddering slightly between each interval.

"Just tell us what happened." Kakuzu said, he hated waiting for something interesting to happen, kind of like Sasori.

"Uh… Itachi… Your brother… Ugh…" The Akatsuki leader stopped to barf. Itachi grew more worried by the second.

"What about him?" He asked.

"Yeah… He's… He's like… Not going to be the same after this… Poor thing… Didn't see what was coming behind him…" He said, and held his hand to his heart and let out a small prayer. They all gulped, before doing the same, except for Kisame and Deidara, who were consoling Itachi **again**, trying to stop him from whimpering in fear.

"Wa… *sniffle sniffle* he's going to *hic* try to *sniffle* get me too…" He whimpered into Deidara's cloak, genuinely scared for himself and his brother. Deidara was getting more clueless by the second, and knew that he needed to do something before he couldn't do anything.

"It's ok Itachi. Un. We'll protect you. He can't do nothin' to us. Un." He comforted, looking at Kisame for help. Kisame just shrugged and looked away, completely ignoring the blonde's pleading. 'I'll get you back later you bastard Kisame…Un.' He thought in his head.

Meanwhile that was happening, Konan and Pein were having a heated argument.

"Oh for god sak-" Konan said, only to be interrupted by Hidan.

"OI! GOD DOESN'T EXIST! ONLY JASHIN-SAMA DOES!" Hidan screamed, totally annoying Konan. Pein smirked, Pein 1 Konan 0.

"Fine… For the love of Pete. Get down from there and give me back the relic, who knows what's going to happen if you press that button? You're always trying to prove you're the best and stuff but you AREN'T Nagato. You AREN'T."

"Yeah well, at least I don't end up nagging people like you do, that's probably the REAL reason Orochimaru left." Pein remarked back, already running out of stuff to say.

"Oh and that's a bad thing? At least I'm not so carefree and stupid that I end up blowing a whole continent up because I felt like pressing a button that we had told you about EIGHTY TIMES not to press. And what do you do? Press it. ARGH! You even sing in the shower! What was the song again? Oh right, something about a sponge living in a pineapple or something. Real mature Nagato." She said, smirking as he blushed in embarrassment. Pein 1, Konan 2.

"YOU SAID YOU LIKED MY SINGING! I SEE HOW IT IS!" He started saying, just like Orochimaru had said earlier. Bringing the mirror up into pressing range, he smiled maliciously, "Hmmm… I really DO wonder what will happen when I press this red button."

"OI! NAGATO! DON'T YOU DA-" Konan tried screaming, stopping as soon as he pressed it. Placing their arms in front of them and closing their eyes, expecting the worse.

When nothing happened, they opened their eyes slowly to see nothing had been blown up, nor deformed in anyway. Instead, they saw a bored leader, who sighed helplessly.

"Heh, boring… Stupid piece of boring junk." He muttered, before throwing the mirror onto the floor, watching it smash as he jumped off the tree and led them all to a bar, ordering them all to get drunk, and once again tricking Itachi into pole dancing.

That night, after hours of pure binge drinking, Deidara felt something crawling up his leg. Remembering dizzily about what had happened with Orochimaru, he screamed in fright and jumped away, only to see a scared Itachi.

"Uh… Whats up Itachi?" He asked, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart.

"I'm scared." He whispered, "Can I sleep with you guys?"

"Uh… Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose of you specially getting a single luxury deluxe room?" Sasori asked, lying on his side, totally woken up by their annoying screaming.

"I'll swap with you for tonight Sasori. Please? I'm sure that Orochimaru is trying to get me, I saw shadows of snakes again…" He said, tears almost appearing in his eyes as he said the last part. Deidara and Sasori weren't convinced though.

"Are you sure they aren't the shadows of all the thrown pieces of clothing you keep in your room? Un. You never know, you could just be seeing things Itachi." Deidara tried, but was shaken in response.

"No no no no no no! It's definitely him! I heard terrifying squeaks and squeals from under my bed, and disgusting squishy sounds!" He said, whimpering as he said them.

"Ah. Then it IS him. Un." Deidara said, and then looked towards Sasori, begging him to switch rooms for the night, they would never get any sleep otherwise.

"Fine, we'll switch then Itachi. If I get raped by the gay asshole I'm going to blame you guys." He said flatly, dragging himself to the door and slamming it as he exited. Deidara sighed with relief, he'd finally be able to get some sleep.

Sleepily, he sat down into his bed and buried himself under the duvet, and drifted off to sleep.

That is until, he felt something get into the bed beside him, arms wrapped round his torso tightly.

"Arghh, what the fuck un!? Itachi! Get to your own bed!" He shouted, peeling Itachi off of himself.

"I'm scared…" He whined. "He's going to get me…"

"Oh for god sake Itachi, he's not the fricking boogey ma- Actually… Forget that, if anything happens Sasori and I will kick his ass, ok? Now go to your own fricking bed and sleep. Un." He said, kicking him out of the bed. Literally.

He finally drifted off to sleep, and so did Itachi eventually… After pushing his bed almost right next to Deidara's.

At the dead of midnight, whilst everyone was asleep, a strange mist seemed to surround the house that they were living in, enveloping it completely.

Back in the garden where Pein had thrown the mirror out, a mystical light emerged from the glass shards, bathing the house in its light.

Suddenly, the whole world seemed to shift, and the house sank into a massive crater, sending them to the depths of hell.

* * *

An hour later, they were all woken up by horrified screams from a certain blonde.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME! UN! I'M WEARING A FUCKING DRESS!" Deidara screamed, trying to peel this disgustingly cliché cocktail dress off of himself.

The whole of Akatsuki rushed into Deidara's room, half of them worried for what had actually happened, the other half coming only because they were interested in what he would look like if in a dress.

Arriving at Deidara's and Sasori's room, they all stared at Deidara, who was wearing a red and black extremely exposing dress, then they all noticed Deidara looking at them freakishly. All of them turning self conscious, they turned to each other and screamed. Even though they screamed at each other, it wasn't until they looked in Deidara's vanity mirror until they saw the monstrosities that they had become.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! WHAT THE FUCKING HECK! I'M WEARING FUCKING GAY KUNG FU SAD PANTS AND I HAVE A FUCKING CHINESE LONG OLD GAY STYLE PONYTAIL! (A/N no offence, I'm Chinese too xD It's just a joke) AND OH MY JASHIN! LOOK AT THESE DISGUSTING WRINKLES! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hidan screamed, trying to take these huge looking baggy pants off while swearing.

"At least you're fucking human! I'm a fucking shark with demented legs!" Kisame cried, and Itachi just patted him on his… fin.

"You ARE a fucking shark Kisame, you ALWAYS HAVE BEEN a fucking shark Kisame. But me, LOOK AT ME! IM IN A FUCKING GOTHIC LOLITA OUTFIT!" The red head screamed, almost in tears as he saw lace, more lace, and lace.

Suddenly, some fairy looking weird kid with strangely bushy hair with a weird headdress and dimmed out facial features jumped into the room, along with some weird flower creature.

"Tobi's a good boy! Tobi's a faiwy! And Zetsu-senpai turned into a flower! Yayyy!" He said, jumping around the room and spreading this yellow powder that seemed to make all of the akatsuki members apart from Zetsu feel ill.

"It sucks. I can't believe Im pink." Zetsu said, referring to the disgustingly large pink and purple petals that framed his waist. Sighing, he floated (?) into a corner and seemed to be crying in shame, making it look like he was wilting.

"Oi, you bastards. Huh come I'm a fucking pig." Kakazu snarled, referring to the fact he now was a hunchback ugly boar, but with a robe and crown on top of his head. Tobi seemed to want to answer this.

"Heehee! It seems Kaka-cha-"

"I'll kill you."

"Kakazu-sama is the main character of this story! He has a crown!"

"Your point Tobi?" Pein emerged from the darkness, his face abnormally blue and he was outfitted in some old samurai costume. It took all they had for the rest of the Akatsuki to not laugh.

"Uhm… Since he has a crown… He's the king? Meaning he gets to boss us all around?" Tobi asked, kind of scared of the guy.

"And? I'm the leader. Full Stop. Anyone who goes against me can go to hell." Pein remarked, giving Tobi the fright of his life.

"Oi, Nagato, stop being so damn silly. I bet you it was your fault that we're like this anyway." Konan said, also emerging from the darkness. When she did, everyone apart from Sasori, who was too busy crying in embarrassment, Zetsu, who was doing the exact same, and Itachi who was busy being mawled to death by Hidan and Kisame for some reason, burst into a violent wave of nose bleeds.

"Ugh, Ko-Konan… When did you become so… so… hot..?" Pein asked, staring furiously at her exposed body, not noticing at all the murderous glare she was giving him, and the fact she had a tail. A forked tail.

"Shut the fuck up you dumbass, I am so sick of you fucking everything up! Now because of your stupid button pressing, I turned into this! No WONDER Orochimaru wanted to leave!" She screamed, punching him in the face, not noticing at all the stares that the other men were giving her as her breasts jogged up and down as she moved.

"You called?" A weak, feminine but familiar gay voice called out. Noticing the familiar voice of Orochimaru, all of the Akatsuki turned their heads to the direction of his voice, and saw a penguin.

"AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! SOMEONE HAS HAD IT WORSE THAN WE HAVE! AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hidan shouted, not breathing whilst he laughed, and the others joined in. Orochimaru the great genius sannin was nothing more than a penguin which had wooden planks as legs.

"Hisss… Shut up! You just wait you, I'll kill and rape you al- ITACHI! THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD TO YOU! WOOOOO! I STILL HAVE SOMEONE TO OGLE AT!" He cheered, and everyone looked at Itachi, of whom up till now Hidan and Kisame only noticed.

"Yeah, fucking asshole. SOMEBODY HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN PLAYING FAVOURITES AROUND HERE! HUH COME **HE** DOESN'T BECOME A FUCKING LOLITA OR SHARK OR SOMETHING!?" Hidan complained. All of them looking at Itachi in jealousy, they all noticed how NORMAL he looked. In fact, Orochimaru was cheering. He had been given an exposing, not too exposing, but exposing dark brown battle outfit, that surprisingly didn't make him look gay even though the chest part looked like a bra. Heck, the only difference in his appearance was the new reasonably looking battle outfit and the fact he wore a bandana instead of a forehead protector.

"…What? Is my outfit that bad?" Itachi asked, not bearing to look into the mirror yet. When he did, a massive sigh of relief escaped his lips, until he realised the fact that he was being watched by some really, really, scary and perverted eyes.

"Oh Itachi-kun… You don't know how much I want you right now…" Orochimaru said, and belly dived onto Itachi, not giving Itachi a chance to scream. Luckily for Itachi, he managed to duck and dive to the side, totally dodging Orochimaru's pounce, before shrivelling up into a ball and crying, scared that Orochimaru might do what he did to his brother to him. Again, luckily for Itachi, Orochimaru blew up as soon as he hit the floor, leaving a huge crater in Deidara's room.

"Oh for go-"

"GOD DOES NOT EXIST! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! ONLY JASHIN-SAMA EXISTS!" Hidan interrupted.

"Oh for Jashins sak-"

"Sama."

"ARGH SHUT THE FUCK UP HIDAN!"

"MAKE ME!" Hidan screamed, and screamed even more when Deidara stuffed his kung fu pants that he finally managed to take off into his mouth, tears in his eyes as he found he couldn't breathe.

"Oi. Deidara. Won't that kill him?" Kakazu asked.

"Nah, he's immortal."

"Ah. Makes sense."

"Now. As I was saying. FOR JASHIN-SAMA'S SAKE, CAN WE STOP TRASHING MINE AND SASORI'S ROOM!?"

"Why? It's fun." Said Sasori, and Deidara glared at him.

"Dude. You're not helping here. Un."

They remained bickering among one another for quite a while, half of them seemed to be crying in shame of themselves and their appearances, one of them dead and blown up to smithereens, another one yay'ing for the fact Orochimaru was finally dead and also being mawled to death by others, and the rest just standing there for no reason.

This continued for what seemed like ages, all until a blue haired girl with a ribbon on her head clutching a bunny doll and a gun entered the room and bowed politely, gathering all of their attention.

"Oi, who are you? Un." Deidara asked, staring at the weird little girl.

Instead of the girl speaking herself, the doll in her hand seemed to talk instead.

"Hellooooo! My name is Usagi! And my lovely master here is named Plenair-sama!"

"…Plenair? Usagi?" Sasori repeated.

"Yesssss? That is my name. Do not wear it out please."

"…" Itachi remained quiet, he didn't quite want to tell the bunny that his jokes were outdated and lame, but he found a problem with talking to a bunny doll and trying to insult a girl with a gun. You never know when they'll have a mood swing. Never.

"Anyway. Welcome to the Netherworld!" Usagi said, waving its stubby little arm happily as if to welcome them.

"WHAT!?" All of the Akatsuki shouted out simultaneously, apart from Itachi of course, he just remained silent throughout, oh and Kakazu and Hidan. Kakazu was taking a nap using Tobi as a pillow and Hidan still was being gagged by his trousers.

"Uh? What's wrong?" Usagi asked nervously.

"Why the fuck are we in the Netherworld? We didn't do anything wrong apart from kill hundreds of thousands of people and ruined millions of lives!" Pein whined.

"Oh, you touched the magical seal that Laharl-sama, the King of the Netherworld, has just unlocked through the dark assembly. Right now, you're in the Castle's fourth gateway room." Usagi explained.

"…" They all looked at Pein, glaring at him, and making plans to kill him as soon as this girl left the room.

"Anyway… I've ordered a prinny to guide you around the castle, and explain any questions. Goodbye." Usagi finished, and the girl named Plenair left the room.

It only took a few seconds for the prinny, whatever that was supposed to be, to arrive there. Instantaneously, as soon as it entered, Itachi started screaming and ran into Deidara's arms, scared to bits at the new Orochimaru look alike. True, the prinny looked exactly like what Orochimaru had become. A penguin with wooden planks as legs, but this prinny wasn't navy blue, this one was purple.

"Captain Prinny Margerette here to serve you my lord's guests. How may I help you?" It asked.

"WAAAA! HE'S COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO RAPE ME! SAVE MEEEE!" Itachi wailed, and Kisame together with Sasori stood between the two as if to block the way to him. Deidara just sighed helplessly while patting Itachi's hair softly, trying to stop him crying all over his dress. But it was Pein who spoke next.

"What the hell are you plotting you gay! Orochimaru, if you dare try to rape one of my members, including Itachi, I won't let you out alive!" He roared, earning a deep amount of respect from the other members of Akatsuki.

"Eh? What are you talking about. My name is Margaret. Not Orochimaru. I think that was probably your friend who exploded not too long ago, right?" The Prinny replied casually, everyone staring at it confusedly, waiting for it to clarify.

"When you got here, you got turned into different ranks and classes. You over there." It pointed one of its flippers at Deidara, "You my friend, are a cleric. Hence the dress."

"WHAT!? YOU EXPECT ME TO **HEAL** PEOPLE!?" Deidara screamed, but stopped when the captain prinny just nodded and replied with a simple flat 'yes'.

"You," Margaret pointed at Hidan, "Are a brawler. Hence the parachute pants."

"Mpphmmhpph." He tried to speak, glaring at Deidara as he found he couldn't. Deidara just laughed at him, telling him he should be able to dislodge his own trousers from his mouth, taunting him about the size of his butt. The Prinny ignored this, and pointed at Kisame.

"You my friend, are a serpant. Real lucky actually, they're quite powerful."

"I thought he was a shark." Zetsu said, coming out of the corner where he was sitting. Kisame leered at him instead, telling him to shut up or else he would eat him. Sasori interrupted them by asking a question.

"What about me? What the fuck am I? I'm wearing fricking lace for goodness sake." He whined.

"You my friend, are a red mage. You control fire. That's all."

"That's ALL? Why the HELL am I wearing this girly crap?"

"'Cuz that's what the game designers of Disgaea chose."

"The what?"

"Uh… Nothing. Anyway, you my friend, I think your name was Tobi or something. You are a Hobbit. Yo-"

"Yayyy! I'm a hoob!"

"No… Yo-"

"Yayyyy! Imma HOOB!"

"…Y-"

"Hooooooooob!"

"…Whatever. You're a hoob then. Enjoy being made fun of with sad nicknames…" Margaret concluded, ignoring the fact that Deidara and Kisame were calling Tobi all sorts of names.

"Hahaha, You're a noob un."

"No I'm not. I'm a hoob!" Defended Tobi.

"You're a boob, deal with it." Sneered Kisame.

"Anyway… You," she turned towards Konan, "You're an Empusa."

"What's that?"

"A type of Succubus."

"…You mean if I try to sleep with her she'll end up killing me? THAT type of succubus?" Pein asked.

"Yup. That type of Succubus."

"Oh great…" Pein moaned.

"Woohoo, I'm safeguarded now against a certain orange haired rapist!" She cheered, but stopped when a pang of guilt stabbed her as she looked at his tearful eyes. But Margaret interrupted their arguing again, wanting to finish the explanations and stuff soon. It was almost time for her shift to end. Pointing to Nagato, she continued.

"You my friend, are a Majin. The more overpowered humanoid character in the game."

"What game?"

"…Nothing."

"?"

"Anyway… You're called Itachi right?"

"M-Me?"

"Yes you."

"If I say I'm Itachi, will you try to rape me again?" He said tearfully, not entirely sure this thing wasn't Orochimaru.

"No. I'm not your gay friend."

"He's not his friend. He's the boogey man." Deidara corrected for Itachi, still consoling him.

"Anyway. You are a warrior."

"No shit Sherlock." Kisame said. Just as he said that, a white glow surrounded Itachi, and Itachi screamed in terror of it being an attack from Orochimaru.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT'S MAKING ME FEEL TINGLY! HE'S COME BACK TO RAPE ME! HELPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"No wait! That's the sign of ranking up!" Margaret said, trying to calm down the screaming warrior down. Deidara, who was currently being clung on by Itachi, felt Itachi become white hot, and screamed in agonizing pain as he felt his hands being burned. Jumping back, he watched Itachi as he glowed completely white.

As the light faded, they sighed in relief as Itachi remained unharmed and untouched, completely dressed.

But wait!

"Oh my gosh. What great luck!" Margaret cheered, her beak twisting into a… smile?

"W-What happened to me? Why is my costume a lighter brown colour? Was it Orochimaru!?" Itachi panicked.

"Don't worry. You are now a Cosmic Hero. Congratulations on your 5 tier rank jump!" She congratulated.

"His 5 tier what jump?"

"Ugh, you'll learn in the next chapter in the tutorial."

"Chapter? What?"

"Anyway, the guy who looks like a fat selfish rich pig is a brute, he's supposed to be a fat selfish rich pig but extremely powerful. Be careful of when you get him angry." Margaret said, noticing she only had a few set number of words to finish her explanation off with.

Hidan, who finally managed with Tobi's unthanked assistance managed to get the pair of trousers that Deidara had stuffed into his mouth out, and was now swearing.

"Fucking hell Deidara, you just wait till I rip your dress off and let the world see whatever you have underneath it… Oh and no wonder Kakazu is a pig, he's exactly like that in real life."

"…Did you say something Hidan?" Kakazu said dangerously scarily, scary enough to even scare Hidan.

"N-No… Nothing Kakazu…"

"That's what I thought."

"Oi. How do you know all this stuff anyway? How could anyone be sad enough to memorize these things by heart?" Zetsu asked.

"…Uh. Just common knowledge…" Margaret said, before trying to hide something behind her back.

"Hey… What's that behind your back? Un." Deidara spotted something behind her, appearing behind her in a flash, but tripping over the hem of his dress. Hidan laughed.

"Hahhahaha! Way to go smoochikums, girls like you shouldn't try to do anything too manly." Hidan jeered, doing the exact same thing as Deidara minus the tripping part, and snatching a book out of the prinny's hands. On it read 'DISGAEA : HOUR OF DARKNESS'.

"OI! YOU'VE BEEN READING THIS OUT FROM THE START HAVEN'T YOU!? FUCKING BITCH."

"Uh… No… That's just in case uh… I forget?" She tried to cover up, but because she was a much better actor than Pein, they seemed to believe her.

"Anyway, the last person who seems to be a floral type monster… Hmmm… I can't think of anything…"

"Why don't you check the book?"

"Ah! That's a good idea." She said, getting the book out and flicking through the pages, eyes scanning each page as they flicked by.

"Any luck?"

"Hmm… I don't think his monster type is even in this version of the game…"

"What? You're talking about a game again…"

"Ah, sorry. Lemme get another book, it's for the next series." She got out a book from her pouch, and on it read 'DISGAEA : CURSED MEMORIES'.

"Whats that..?" Itachi asked, clinging onto Kisame this time since Deidara had managed to escape momentarily.

"Oh this? This has even MORE information just in case I can't recognise a monster class."Pein looked at the book curiously, and made a note in his head to steal it later, it would definitely come in handy later.

"Ahah! You are a floral beast."

"It took you how long to find that out?"

"Shu'p."

"So what do we do now?"

"I recommend you go to the hospital to revive your prinny friend. Then if I were you I'd go to the tutorial and level up a bit. Oh, by the way, prinnies explode when thrown. But people here never die, you can always revive each other in the hospit-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" She screamed, flapping her flippers everywhere as Hidan picked her up.

"Hmmm… Prinnies explode when thrown right? Heh heh heh heh…" Hidan chuckled darkly, amused as the prinny froze as soon as he said it.

"D-D-Don't do anything I wouldn't do, I have… GOOD FRIENDS!" She stammered, scared for her life.

"Hmm… But I do like things exploding, DO IT HIDAN! UN!" Deidara agreed, for once with Hidan.

"Heh heh heh." Hidan chuckled evilly, lifting his arms and dropping them, ready to throw the poor prinny.

"STOP RIGHT THERE MISTER! YOU WILL NOT HURT THAT INNOCENT PRINNY!" A girlish voice shouted out. Everyone looked to the direction of where the voice came from and froze, scared of what terrible power awaited them.

* * *

**Thanks for reading xD**

**Please review :D Oh and sorry its kind of boring this chapter, I had to introduce everything and stuff xD In short, if you got tired of reading the end part, here's a mini brief.**

**Itachi = Cosmic Hero**

**Kisame = Serpant**

**Zetsu = Floral Beast (From disgaea 2 roflmao)**

**Pein = Divine Majin**

**Konan = Empusa (Succubus)**

**Tobi = Hobbit (Faerie)**

**Deidara = Female Cleric**

**Sasori = Also, red mage (female, not a skull xD)**

**Kakazu = Brute**

**Hidan = Brawler or Fighter xD**

**Orochimaru = Private Prinny (Cause he sucks) xD**

**Till next time xD**


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